The Queen's BIG FAT GRΣΣK Adventure

The unexpected challenges encountered while visiting this land

First, a word of notice: I am not on an island, surrounded with turquoise seas, and my door is not painted in blue. This was not the idea.

I know there are luxurious villas out there where life is easy and undisturbed, and fresh fish jumps out of the sea into your plate surrounded with sauteed vegetables, sprinkled with olive oil and capers.

This happens in Tourist Land.

I am in Greece.

And I am learning a thing or two.

Greek people speak and write in Greek

Needless to say, the Queen does not.

But they do, and they are really insistent on that point. They don't care that nobody else in the world speaks Greek or writes Greek or reads Greek. They hang on to that with Heracles' Unyielding Strength. (See what I did there?)

That quickly became the Queen's first major hurdle. Of course, the Queen was promised that Greek people speak English. Well, most of the people she met in the small town of Varkyza where she resides, do not.

So the Queen set out to learn a few words.

As a nomad, the first word to learn is Thank You. And you hope for a cute catchy little word with one syllable, maybe two. Something you can carelessly throw in the air while grabbing your cappuccino to-go and almost sound local.

Well, let me introduce you to the four-syllable unpronounceable word of EVCHARISTO, don't forget to roll your R.

It took the queen two days to master that one with some natural, and then she learned to hear the typical answer "PARA KALO", meaning "My Pleasure", and not that she looks like Frida Kahlo.

Then of course, one wants to know how to say Yes and No.

So, Yes is NEH. Yep, you got that right. It could not be Yas, or Si, or something. It had to resemble No as much as possible.

From here, you hope that No is Yas. Of course not. No is OHI, which you will admit strangely resembles the French Oui.

An uphill battle this Greek thing.

And the real challenge comes from reading, everything is written in the Greek alphabet, everything. A few things are also translated to English, but so randomly that you cannot count on it.

The Queen is a scientific, she proudly owns a hard-earned Master's degree in Mathematics and Computer Sciences. That means she knows the Greek alphabet.

Every single Calculus theorem had to include at least 3 greek letters. Everyone with a math education knows that "for each epsilon, there is a delta...".

It does not help here. First, there is not necessarily a delta for each epsilon, and really Calculus does not get you anywhere here.

Athens: Hard to ignore

Varkyza is a southern suburb of Athens, so the Queen decided to visit the ancient city.

First she had to figure out which two buses she would need to take to get there, how much it costs, how she can pay, where does she take the bus, where

does she change busses and finally where she should stop. All in Calculus language. She deserves her Master.

Athens is immense. It spreads endlessly. But the area of interest, the Acropolis area, is right in the center of town and you cannot miss it.

Actually i did miss it. I paid for and entered a different archeological site, and after being really unimpressed by what I thought was the Parthenon, I saw the actual Parthenon from afar on the top of a rather high hill. Then i proceeded to walk/climb there.

It is nothing less than impressive, impossible to laugh at, impossible to downplay.

You are surrounded by real history, and you do expect to see any minute some Greek philosopher wearing a bed sheet lecturing a bunch of captivated ignorants.

Instead, you see a lot of tourist guides.

I loved it and enjoyed it, until I did not.

I took a couple of pictures, because Instagram.

Then i walked through the endless maze of tourists shops, noticing once again that every store is selling the same merchandise (made in China).

This year, the penis is all the rage. For some reason. You can find penis-shaped bottle openers, penis magnets, all branded with some Greek God name on them. I struggled to find who I could buy this for, and gave up. Also the perspective of having a penis-shaped something showing its glorious contours in the airport X-Ray machine made me decide not to purchase.

I did feel good having seen a little bit of Athens, it felt meaningful.

Time to remind you that all my pictures, artfully taken, with a keen eye for interesting details, are all posted in the fantastic app, PolarStep. And the Athens step can be seen here.

Greek Mythology, should I?

Another very dominant aspect of Greek culture is their borderline obsessive attachment to their mythology. Almost every street name, every restaurant, every site worth visiting has something to do with it. I reside on Apollonos street, that is crossed by Orpheus street.

But I realize that I know close to nothing about it, while I heard that Greek children learn mythology before they learn real history.

I think it is cute, and it gave me a slight desire to read a bit about it. At least, before I go to the temple of Poseidon, i will try to learn who he actually was.

Almost over

My stay in Varkyza is approaching its end. I still plan to visit the temple of Poseidon at Cape Sounion , and will probably update this post with my impressions and some pictures when I do.

I met a few people, with a special note for Lena, who was the kindest host possible, explained so many things to me, and took me places.

I will leave here with the impression of a special country, with a distinct culture, that does not let you in immediately. But when it does, you feel strangely at home.

For now, αντίο !

(It is supposed to mean goodbye, but I am probably not using it right)